Lots of people find it hard to say NO to others. They often feel that if they say NO they will be perceived as selfish, rude, not willing to help others, ungrateful, careless, a bad person…
The problem is that we have learned this at a very young age. When we were kids we were taught certain patterns. Just take a moment and think of a situation when you were little and your parents were telling you that you needed to behave a certain way when you really wanted to do something else.
For example, your parents asked you to be quiet and not play at the table in a restaurant. Like any child, you wanted to play. So, what you had to do is to suppress your wishes, and obey, you had to say YES when you wanted to say NO.
And this pattern kept repeating over the years. When we become older there are other things that make us say YES instead of NO. Maybe we want to be accepted by a certain group of people, we want to fit in a certain culture. And what we keep doing is trying to fit into certain roles, trying to fit into stereotypes.
It is absolutely fine to want to be accepted, to be a part of something bigger than yourself but you need to find the balance. It is not good to always say YES but saying NO all the time is not great either.
Experiment and see what suits you the best. Remember, it is ok to say NO to others, which automatically means saying YES to yourself, it means self-respect and self-love. Be honest with yourself and see the magic happens.
How do you feel when you say NO to others?
