Do you consider yourself a people pleaser? Did you know that many people don’t think of themselves as people-pleasers but they actually are one of them? Here is a little test you can do in order to figure this out:
Take a moment and think (but be honest) how often you say yes (accept to do something) when you truly wanted to say no?
It’s absolutely fine to please others from time to time but not at your own expense. Here are 4 things that you can do right now to stop being a people pleaser.
Accept That It Is OK to Say NO
If you are always pleasing others, who is pleasing you? You need to take care of yourself. This is like with the oxygen mask in an airplane, you need to put it on yourself first and then help others. Consider NO to be your oxygen mask.
Understand Why It Is So Hard For You to Say NO
We all have our own reasons. Some are scared to say it, some are afraid they will lose something (an opportunity, a friend…), some are just used to saying YES and are not even aware of it. Figure out what is your reason, once you do that it’ll be much easier to stop being people pleaser and say yes to yourself more often.
Pause Before You Say YES
Our behavior is conditioned, there are lots of things that we do without thinking, we do them automatically. So, next time when you are about to say yes stop. Just pause for a moment and ask yourself is this something you want to do or not.
Learn How to Say NO Politely
Often the problem is that we don’t want to hurt or offend somebody. Saying no politely will help you with this. Here are a few examples: “I would really love to come but I have something else planned”, “I am sorry but I can’t do that at the moment”, “I am honored that you invited me, but unfortunately I cannot attend”
What are you doing to stop being a people pleaser? Share your strategies, and help others.